Mar 28, 2020
I know you have this moment in time when your husband got laid off and everything needs to hit the fan. Can you share that with us a little bit, definitely?
My husband was laid off and luckily he was able to find a job really quickly but it was in another state, and it was kind of a contractor position, so we didn't want to move.
I ended up being at home with my two little kids, and I had just started my own business, and at first things were fine. I had a couple of clients and I was able to manage it all, but as my business grew, and I got more successful. I couldn't do it anymore.
There was a moment I remember so I had the flu, I was laying on my couch, trying to type email to a client as my two kids have their lightsabers were chasing each other screaming around the couch. Thinking to myself, this cannot be life. My life is supposed to be like this. It is not what I dreamed when I thought of starting my own business, and having the freedom and flexibility was like This cannot be right. This is not the way it's supposed to be.
I realized that I was so out of alignment. I was trying to do everything for my kids and then I had all these new clients that I was trying to serve to make sure that they wanted to stay with me and hire me more, but I totally left myself out of the picture. It really started me on the kind of self-discovery of figuring out how am I going make this work by myself with my two kids and then this business.
I took a lot of productivity classes I took courses, but I realized that nobody really understood my life as a mom entrepreneur. I took a lot of courses from really well-known productivity experts but they were men and they didn't have the responsibility of taking care of their kids and so I remember one time my son got hit in the head and gym class, and I had to take him to Urgent Care.
And we had this whole thing we were supposed to do for this class I was in and I came back and I said, "I'm sorry, but this happened. So now what do I do?
He's like, "I don't know and I'm like, "Well what do you mean like we...
How do I do next, how do I get back on is like I've never had anything like that happen. He's said, "I just go to work every day, and that's what I do and I realized that people don't understand this unpredictable life as kind of a mom entrepreneur, and that's really how I got started figuring out how I'm going make this work to make sure that I had time for me, 'cause I was a lunch in right, if something happened to me, I realized everything fell apart.
That's a scary place to be in, too. It was very scary. But I think a lot of women get to that point at first, I think. Oh, I got this right. Everything's working fine. But then as you start to get more clients or maybe for more services or whatever that looks like, for you, you realize, "Wow this is not working or I can't do this. And what was First is time for yourself, right? So I think that's the place that so many women get lost, they're still serving their clients, they're still trying to be the best mom, but then they don't have the time for themselves.
When I was sick and I realized that was a starting point, but I just kept realizing there I didn't find solutions for my problem and my specific problem. But there has to be a way, I just kept realizing there's a different path.
There must be a solution, that I can really have this business and my kids, but then have a little time, you just a little time for myself. And so hearing those responses, I realized that, Okay, I think I'm going have to figure out the solution by myself. So, this was over 10 years ago and there weren't kind of some of the social media wasn't as big, it wasn't the self-love movement.
I don't think as much. So I really didn't have those same resources and so it really took me just figuring out how to make this work for myself and it really came down to setting priorities, including myself, as one of them and I think a lot of people have a business priority and maybe a family priority, but they didn't have one for themselves and so that's what really changed that for me. And then creating a schedule first with non-business activities including my thing first, and then only after that I could see how much time I had to work and that's how I make it work for me.
I was by myself right and so because I was kind of still being burned out, I kept getting sick and I just realized if I'm sick, then my kids can't do anything right. I can barely get them to school.
They had pre-school for after whatever that was, I couldn't do it and I realized. Okay, first, even if it was like 30 minutes a day, I had to find some kind of time that I could either journal or just take a nap or meditate, or whatever, that was at different times. They did different things depending on how I was but I realized if I didn't do that, first, my kids were going to suffer and that's not why I started my own business, and so I really also created, really.
I needed to create boundaries for my clients, and so I had only ten, to as my working hours and I didn't respond after that and so I got really strict with my time and how I used it to ensure that I really was doing the focus, which was my family and myself.
I had one child in preschool and one in kindergarten, and so as soon as they left, I took the first 30 minutes for myself so I didn't work on my clients. Most people firing as I going sit right down and do my business and I said, No, I have to take the first 30 minutes for myself. Like I said, it didn't matter what I did I could sleep, I could just rest, I could go for walk, whatever that was, but I always took the first 30 minutes after my kids went to school for myself.
And I think that's the thing that we don't do this woman, right? We don't do that first thing for ourselves, right?
We do everything else, first. We'll cook for lunch, or well, make dinner, prepping dinner, we'll do the one we'll do all these other things first. But I realized that if I didn't take I think because I was by myself, I think that was. If I had somebody else there, I might not have gotten to that point, but realizing by myself, I kept getting sick and I kept feeling just not good and not doing good work to my clients and not being a great mom for my kids that I needed to take at least that like 30 minutes for myself first or everything fall apart.
What activities during that 30 minutes, we're actually helpful to you.
If I was sick I just took a nap. I like that, that's pretty obvious. After that it really depended kind of dependent where I was so if I was feeling like things were going well, I may they'd go for a walk because going outside, really helped. I feel like kind of get me grounded and I got fresher in a little movement right like that, that was good, but sometimes really journaling like if there was some issues going on, whether was my business or whatever, just writing things out for me really helps.
Everyone has a different thing. So some people are really good at meditating. I trimmed Ting, at times, and at times it helped but not all the time. I feel like for me, journaling, works. And I think that's a little bit of the self-exploration but you need to figure out what works good for you, what makes you feel good? Like I said, for a lot of moms, it's a app. So take that nap for the 30 minutes. You'll be surprised how you can fall asleep when you know like, Okay this is my lack of time, I'm gonna bolstering away.
You can do it.
And I think that's a really important thing for if somebody missed that is that... Don't just follow all the gurus out there that are saying, try this, and try this, and that's going work. You have to figure out what works for yourself. Seems that work for you and I think that's really awesome. That you took the time to figure out those 30 minutes.
What is best going serve me today?
I followed some of those groups to said, "Get up a 40 M or get up at 5 AM and I need sleep. I'm just a person who needs a lot of sleep and with my kids, and by myself, they'd wake up at night and so asking me then to even get less sleep.
I was not productive, even then, so when I would get up at 5 AM, so it made no sense. So definitely, yes. There are people who things have worked for, but really make sure you look is their life comparable to mine? A lot of these were men who didn't take care of their kids and so, no, it wasn't comparable is my life. So that's why I really find that working with my clients, I think I have a better understanding somewhat of their life, but I still think it's customized to you.
Some people are great at writing some people hate writing. I'm like, "Well then talk it into the phone if maybe that's better for you, find a solution that makes you at least feel less stress, like anxious whatever that is walking, running, you go whatever that is, for you find what works for you and then do that.
The first step is really the time management part and I always start with their priorities first. And you block those off your calendars, first because we all know the other way to just fall the wayside, and I definitely encourage them to figure out what works for them but that's why... That's the cornerstone of my program is that I don't make you get up at five, I don't make you do anything except choose a priority for yourself, whether it's a gold class, and if you wanna take an art class me, whatever that is, for you is something you know you wanna do is something you just want arrest a quiet time by herself, whatever that is, figure that out, and we're gonna carve out that time first, and then we'll know how much time you have for your business and then you have all your family activities. So I start with us first.
I’ll do that later. And it always gets pushed off it. So whoever you are, you don't have to be a mom. But I just work because I was a mom that was kind of my turning point. I help a lot of other months. But again, I think it's just females in general need to figure out how. I don't have hours it doesn't have to be hours, it seems ridiculous, but for a while I was just doing 10 minutes and so in the morning.
Because if my kids hear may get up, they think, "Oh mom's up and so they come and mom, where's this, where's this whatever? My journal next to my bed, and I take it, I hardly move and start writing my 10-minutes in my journal before even get out of bed so they don't hear me, so I actually have those types.
Some people, maybe it's meditate like I said, whatever that is, maybe doing some movements like yoga or whatever, just figure out what that means for you, and people say, "Oh I don't have two hours, I'm like, 2 or 2. or start with 10 minutes, if you can find 10 minutes. I think everyone can find 10 minutes in a day that they can do something, buy themselves, I that will really help refresh rejuvenate you so that you can be a great dog mom. You can be the best business owner that you can be, right? Because I think without that, we kind of am Dar tank, and then we're not able to do anything well, and that's not how we want to live our lives, right?
You don't take care of yourself. What you take care of yourself is what's going be given back to exactly. So if you're not taking that time for you that shows up in other areas of your life. So yeah, I see it in... So when you're working with clients and doing the carving out that 10 minutes, 30 minutes, hopefully, work up to an hour. If we have that lecture.
A lot of times it's women who are struggling. And so, usually the first thing we start with this time management, but I'm all about finding ways to use your time more efficiently. So a lot of times for their businesses, that means finding new systems and ways to do things that take up less of your time, right?
And so that can save hours of time a week. And so, it's really about maximizing the time that you have, so you're focusing maybe on your client work on the work that only you can do and having some of this more back-end administrative stuff work more behind the scenes without you having to be involved. Again, it's all about taking the time that you have and using it for the best for you and for your clients and then for your family and for yourself. So that's where we really start. We're always looking at that time, aspect because usually the women I work with, have very little time and at first they start with the 10 minutes, like we talked about, but you'd be surprised. So we'll do that for two months, and then they'll start to say, "Oh wait, I think I can find some more time then it's 30 minutes. So they're able to move it up each time we do that, and I think that's because once you start to realize, "Oh I can find 10 minutes. Oh, let's see if I can do 20. you start to realize, "Oh I can find this. And when you start to feel better, I think you realized I need more of that, right? So if you started medicine, you're like, Wow, 10 minutes. That's not quite enough. I want some more and then you realize I'm actually a better mom, I'm actually a better person a friend you to my family members.
I think you want more of that. And so it's really great to see how that can expand just from those first 10 minutes that we start with.
A full embodiment of how to be a mom, and an entrepreneur at the same time is what you're helping people is yeah, because I felt like there wasn't that at least when I was looking there wasn't that kind of... How do you make that work this kind of unpredictable schedule because your kids can get sick or the schools out or things like that. And so we had to figure out a way to make that work. And I didn't really find that from the people, even the women, but they had nannies. I didn't have an any, I was all by myself, so it was really figuring out how to make that work for me, and then when I met other moms, I say, "How are you doing this online business that's flexible? And it's part-time and I... 'cause I picked out my kids every day, right? How are you here day when you have this business?
And so then I started to help other women because women have so much education they've had so much experience, a lot of them have corporate jobs, but they wanna do something a little different. They don't wanna have to go a 900 to 500.And so I started helping women, I was like, "Hey I can do this as a business, too. And so, I really am passionate about helping.
And sometimes it's just be monitors, it's not necessarily moms, but helping these women figure out how to do this online business so they can have the flexible life that they want and for sure a carve out that time for themselves, some of that. So, I do you do group programs is it all one-on-one, so you... So I do a variety of things, so a lot of people come to me for one-on-one. A lot of times, if people are really at a struggling point it's hard to kinda do a group they kind of need that one-on-one experience, but I have done group programs as well, which is so much fun, because it's great to have a community of women who support each other, who understand what our lives are like because it is a little different than the typical... So I think that's a great place for women to be able to come together, figure out the back end, the tech things for their business to make it work, but also have the other women who understand their lives and are there to cheer them on.
Yeah, and not about losing yourself in there, right?
I think as a mom, a lot of people feel like they lose themselves and I just feel like carving out that time really helps you kind of get back in touch with yourself, to figure out what you really want, where you're moving towards. And like I said, so many people don't do it because I think, "Oh I don't have time, but I'm like 10 minutes. You've gotta have 10 minutes a day, you know, I don't... In your bathroom, or dominate, I don't know, whatever it is, or you wherever you can go, that you can find the 10 minutes. It's a great place to start. And then I think it kind of becomes addictive. You want more and more and so you'll find more ways to find more time for yourself, and then I just feel like you feel so happy and then it projects to everything else. Your business and your family.
No matter what, I'm going do this every day, these five or 10 minutes, and you figure out what you want do, whether it's journal, maybe it's just resting in a quiet room, I don't care what it is, but just carving out those 10 minutes, every single day and stick with that, and then you'll start to see, I think, how you start to change and then you start to get a dick and you want more and more and you'll find ways to make the time to carve out that time, but make yourself a priority and start with that 10 minutes a day. I know everyone can find that 10 minutes a day, do something for yourself, it will choose your life.
What was that 10 minutes a man... Everyone yet to minutes, right? Well, thank you so much for your time, I really appreciate it. I will put all your information, 'cause you send me a bunch of links to all of your stuff. I'll put that in the show notes and up on the blog that goes along with podcast and I appreciate your time and I'm really excited. I kind of, I can't wait to be in your space just because I was like, "I know I'm not a mom, but I need all these things, right?
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